I know what I know...and not a lot else
Just a couple nights ago I boasted about how "I'm not stressed about the sale of our house or upcoming move".
And, then, I got stressed.
You see, we are working with a relocation company for this move, so we can't just call a realtor and list our house. Instead they sent out two different realtors last week to look over our house and talk with us and take pictures. We will be allowed to choose which of the two we'd like to work with and we were pretty sure by the time the first one left (I'll call her Ann) we would use her. The second one (I'll call Sue) came the next night and by the time she left, we knew we'd be using Ann.
Ann was very professional and it didn't hurt that she was complimentary of our home. She claimed to have worked with our relocation company numerous times. In fact, she told us she already had most of the paperwork filled out and would complete it and send it in the next day. Ann called Bryan to let him know she'd sent in the paperwork that next day and then we found copies of it in our mailbox that afternoon. The day after that we got a thank you note in the mail from her.
Now, we met Sue the evening after Ann's visit. She pointed out several things about our house that would be problems. I expected that...that's her job. But, they were things we couldn't change, like we live on the main street in our neighborhood, so there tends to be lots of traffic during peak hours. Only she didn't just point these things out, she kept reminding us of them. And, really, what can we do about it? She brought all the information that Ann did, but chose to not go over it with us. Honestly, that made me wonder how many other "short cuts" she'd be taking. Right before she left, Bryan asked her when she would have the completed paperwork turned into the relocation company. She paused and finally committed to a few days from then. We were disappointed with that answer, but there was nothing we could do.
We both expected to hear something from the relocation company Monday...nothing. By yesterday afternoon, Bryan called our counselor to see what was going on. After all, we have to wait to hear from them before we can get Ann back out here to officially put our house on the market and time is ticking.
Turns out, our counselor is still waiting on the paperwork from Sue! Today it has been one week since her visit. I want to call her myself. How does she ever sell a house if she takes this long to fill out some paperwork??!
So, that is what I stressed about last night. I couldn't sleep as my mind swam with anxiety. What if she never turns in the paperwork and then we have to get another realtor out here and start over? We don't even want to use Sue, but we still have to wait on her! We were already on a short time schedule and the longer our house sits off the market, the more impossible our time schedule gets!
Then I realized I'd been doing what I often do when life gets hectic. I was trying to go it alone. But, I don't have to. I don't have to shoulder this burden. God is always there for me.
I haven't been praying about this. Sure, I've said a quick little prayer on occasion, but I haven't really been praying about this. I've thought and even joked that we will be going through three of the most stressful life events at one time...a job change, moving, and a new baby! Yet, it hasn't dawned on me to devote daily prayer time to our current situation. Until now...
I know myself and I know that I don't stress too easily, but when things build (as they were bound to in this situation) I do tend to melt down.
I also know that I'm a planner. I find security in plans. I want to know our house is going to sell quickly and I want to know we are going to be able to find a house on our one short house hunting trip. I want to know that house will be in a great neighborhood with impressive schools and in a convenient location.
But, I don't know any of these things. Bryan and I have done all we can for now and all that's left is for me to hand over my worries and anxieties to God. I truly believe in the sovereignty of the Lord. He knows who will buy our house and when that will happen. He knows which house we will pick and whether we'll actually find one and be able to decide on it in only a few days. He knows it all. Not only does He know it all, He's taken care of it all.
There are people looking for a house just like ours in NC. There is a house for us in Dallas. It may not be the perfect house in my world, but it will be where the Lord wants us. We will be there for a reason. It is comforting and exciting for me to know that.
For me to get through this without stressing out, I must be in specific communication with Him. I haven't been doing that, but I'm going to start. And I would be ever so appreciative of more prayers lifted up on our behalf. Thank you, in advance.
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