a few things on my mind

My mind is jumping from thought to thought, so stick with me, if you can!

• I'm going to the dentist later to get 2 fillings. No big deal, except ever since I had my wisdom teeth pulled when Addi was a baby, I've had some major anxiety about dental work, even cleanings. Well, not major anxiety. I'm pretty easy-going so it is a lot of anxiety for me. I had my wisdom teeth pulled a few weeks after Bryan deployed for Iraq. I had a 5 month old at the time and I was, understandably, a bit of a basketcase. My dentist (a civilian dentist) wouldn't prescribe me any meds since I was breastfeeding and made me call the Post hospital to get some. I'm not sure if that was the problem or just part of the problem, but once the dentist started, I could feel everything. I know the pain wasn't as intense as if I hadn't taken anything, but I know those pills didn't work as they were intended. Clue number 1 came when the dentist walked in and was surprised I was still awake. I didn't feel the least bit drowsy. Soon after he began, I told him that I was in pain. (I feel the need to defend myself here and say that I'm not a huge wimp. Really. Proof? I gave birth to 2/3 of my kids without anything for pain. I mean, except an awesome Birth Coach who did such a great job with Libby, he thought I wouldn't need him with Levi, so he could play on his phone throughout the contractions. I'm probably never gonna forget that, Babe, but I promise I won't still be mentioning it when we're 90!) Anyway, the dentist didn't believe me. He didn't take any instruments out of my mouth as he told me I didn't feel pain, just pressure and that was normal. When he got to the other side, I did feel pressure and I knew I wasn't crazy. The two sides did not feel the same. By the time it was all over, I was a mess, but tried to keep it together. I remember walking out of the office with my grandfather who was waiting to drive me home and crying. I walked outside and the day was so beautiful and everyone was going about their daily lives and I wanted nothing more than to cry in my husbands arms. He was gone and I hadn't gotten used to it yet and while I was so grateful to my grandparents for driving up to take care of me and my baby girl, I could've really used 20 minutes with Bryan. Anyway, that was a long, silly story to explain when this fear of dentistry began with me. I've been to 3 dentists since that guy and the last 2 have been wonderful. Maybe one day, I'll be back to my "like to go to the dentist" self. Or, at least a "don't mind to go to the dentist" self.


• My baby is starting kindergaten in a couple weeks. To say I'm distraught is an understatement. We've been through so much together. I feel like I'm about to let her out into the world and I'm not ready for it. (Notice I said, "I'm not ready". I believe she's more than ready!) I think I'll start a petition to Bring Back 1/2 Day Kindergarten!


• We are going to Sea World in San Antonio and I haven't begun to pack. Why do I put off until tomorrow what I could do today? Because I hate to pack. I only hate unpacking, laundering, and putting away all those clothes more!


• My 2 year old will be 3 in 10 days. She is brilliant! She adores her siblings and fits perfectly in the middle. Before we even knew about Levi, I realized she was meant to be a middle child. How is it possible that my smallest baby, my easiest delivery, my momma's girl, my "happy to tears" child has been lighting up my life for almost 3 years? More on that later, you can be sure.

There's more, but if you're still reading this you've been sufficiently bored by me today.

Have a great weekend.

*update on the dentist -- I didn't get a chance to post this before my appointment. I had some concerns about medication and breastfeeding (yet again!) so Dr. Wong suggested we try the fillings without any meds. It worked and it was wonderful! I didn't feel any pain. None. I wasn't even the least bit uncomfortable. I had prayed the entire drive that God would calm me and help me to be comfortable throughout the procedure. Prayer works!